Its not confusing to them. That's a grown-up worry and little kids just don't care. Confusing to kids are things like:
why do hair and fingernails grow but teeth don't?
why does dad say chicken nuggets aren't real food?
what do you mean Jesus wasn't really born on December 25 when that's his birthday?
why do I have to look at my presents under the tree for a week before we open them?
why is hot chocolate not a vegetable?
Kids say: Is it magical? Is it believable? Is it fun? Does it involve candy?
Then they are IN!
The whole what-is-the-real-meaning-of-christmas-and-santa-makes-it-not-about-Jesus thing....I just don't see it. As much as we adults would like it to be, Christmas is not about absolutes like stables and dates and incense and myrrh. Its about God being so in-love with this insane world that he sent Jesus to it to teach us some really important things. Its about the magic of family and generosity and hope. Its about kindness and simplicity. And we celebrate all that with things like sugar cookies, advent candles, presents, Luke 2, and Santa.
Eva figured it out around age 7. Actually she realized that the Birthday Fairy (who leaves balloons in their room and a tiny gift by their door on their big day) was us. So we wrote her a letter saying:
its us
its been a treat to play this with her
we are so happy she can believe in things she doesn't see or fully understand
she'll need that skill all her life long
the same thing is true with Santa
and now she'll get to help be the fairy and santa for the littles.
She was all-in as long as she still got a full stocking too!
This is the same Santa we've been going to see since Eva was 2. He remembers her and gives her a big hug every year. And with a twinkle in his eye asks what she wants for Christmas, even though they have silently communicated to each other that she's in on this gig. He takes the time for each kid, looking them in the eye and reminding them that they are special and Christmas is special, and he sees them. He is not in a hurry.
If we grown-ups want to be real with children about the meaning of Christmas, about who Jesus could be to them, we could begin by stepping down from our heads and taking a lesson from Santa.
Let's look them in the eye.
Hug them.
Ask them what they really want.
Get on their level.
Slow down.
Tell them they are loved.
Let hope crackle in the air between us.
That, my friends, is magical, don't you think? That is merry and bright. That is love. And that is the spirit of Christmas.