Becoming 36

Spoiler alert: 

I'm not 29.
I'm 36. 
But don't tell my kids.
Or my thighs.

I really and truly spent all of last year thinking I was 36 though, until one morning in SJ's kitchen about a month ago.  She - like only a real friend could - broke down the math and dealt with 1979 and 2015 in such a gosh-darn basic way and boom! 35.

While its insane to have missed out entirely on 35, its maybe the greatest birthday present ever that I get another crack at 36!

The first week of March is a big deal for lots of reasons....
Sage's birthday (post to come on that little pixie's awesome day)
my birthday
the anniversary of Evelyn's death
and the start of March (beware the ides!!  Its legit.  I mean it.)

A friend posted this excerpt from The Velveteen Rabbit last week, which was one of Evelyn's favorite pieces - she chose it to be read at her funeral.  Its precisely what I aspire to, and seems so fitting of this aging thing that - despite my best efforts - is happening to this skin I'm in.

I'm reminded that to become takes a long time and being real - that's what matters.  My cup overflowed all week with people and sun and littles to prove just how awesome Real is.

So.

I feel a tinge embarrassed and super self-absorbed posting all about my birthday week.  But I suppose that battle was lost the day I started a blog, right? So indulge me.

pics from my phone to give the highlights...

Ryan was in Ohio all week, but the kids stepped up and didn't puke or break any bones or go to the principal's office.  Only one car broke down and nothing started on fire.  Riv woke up before the sun every morning and got himself ready.  That little man is such a little stud.  All ready to go at 7 am...

Ryan had a blast in OH and loves school, which makes me so happy.  And he hid this amazing card for me to find on the 8th.  He knows my insides so well, and just how to fill them up!

Kara drove out from CO to play for a couple of days.  She's my first cousin, and my oldest and best friend.  And ever since I was 2, I've been literally twice her size.  Look at that - her whole face would fit inside mine. 

Henna tattoos at church.  I said its my birthday and I really need it on my ankle instead of my hand and they said ok!

I ate chicken.  This disgusting looking chicken.  And it tasted great.  What has become of me?



The Monday night girls got an icecream cake, and like true friends, put 29 candles.



When I had lasik eye surgery 15 years ago, it fixed everything but my bad night-vision. I've been doing cardio workouts on my wrinkles with all the night driving home from work.  So its glasses time!  Everyone in my life is happy these will be worn only in the dark, but I love them!

And, drum roll please...
sunshine!!!!!
Mother-nature got my memo.  Finally.  This is the best present ever! 

My wrinkles begged for mercy, but no sunglasses allowed.  I want every inch of sun soaking into every single inch of me.

Becoming. 
I think I like it!

double digits

So my little girl turned ten!

It does feel like a decade ago that I carried her in my belly and met her for the first time.  But looking at pictures like this....I can still smell her sweet skin and hear her little voice.

She's a headstrong girl who challenges me daily to be intentional in growing my kids.  She has taken me down a few notches and shown me just how much I don't know, and is the first of my three to prove that my capacity to love is greater than I ever knew. 

And now I see glimpses of a grown-up popping through.  I like what I see and I know she is Going Places!

For her birthday, we gave her a "Double Digit Room".  Translated loosely, it means "Something in there will eat you and you'll never make it to 11, so something must be done Room".  Ryan and I put her in front of the TV and went to town...

The pictures don't do it justice.  For starters, she keeps everything.  EVERYTHING.  Every note, wrapper, birthday treat, pencil, sock, tag, and booger.  I'm going to threaten grandparents and all well-meaning people within an inch of their lives if they give her one more trinket.  One more...I mean it people, don't try me!

 



 A binkie, a face fan, and an old church seating chart all macgyver-ed together with duck tape and hanging from the closet.  This is what I mean.

 

This is my This Sucker is Mine! gameface.

Three hours and six garbage bags snuck out the front door later...

She loved it!  The best part though is the way her "new room" has translated to a "new girl".  She is acting more calm, more mature, more kind, more in control of herself.  I think something about it all showed her that we believe she is truly growing up.  That we know she's a girl on a mission.  And that we adore and respect who she is becoming.

Well, mostly...

That is how she posed when I said I wanted a pic.  Which is terrifying. 

Good thing the room is clean because it looks like she'll be locked in it without access to social media for the next 10 years.

summer of '14

Summer, you were so good to us!  Better than ever before, really.

Today is finally hoodie weather.....so......we put another summer to bed.

We spent most of our time in the water at various pools and swim tournaments.  And not a single photo to show for it - we were too busy, I guess.  And wet!

Cue anything by Dar Williams as we scroll through our summer........

just go, mom!

Today is the day.  Buzz is so big.  He's ready.  I'm ready.  

I love the story these pictures tell.  We both gained courage with each step.

 

 

 

 

By the time we got to the classroom, he told me twice to "Go!!!"

breaking free

There she goes.  4th grade already.

To everything turn turn turn....there is a season turn turn turn. Pete Seeger is singing my inner soundtrack this morning.  A time to build up, a time to break free.

We want to raise a happy, strong, independent girl who can't wait to push free and change this spinning ball we are on.  Please, 4th grade, be good to my rockstar world-changer!

3

So, this happened....

Sweet little McCage is the big 3.  

While trying to ignore my screaming uterus, I have assembled a list of things the little lady teaches me...

1.  naps are awesome.

2.  dancing makes the world go round.

3.  anything can be fancy.  cucumbers, pinky toes, and especially strong girls.

4.  start every day with a fruit shake.

5.  if you're quiet and subtle, you can get your sneaky self into nearly anything.

6.  Jesus wants me for a sunbeam.

7.  skip wearing panties. 

8.  when you find a favorite pair of shoes, stick with them.

9.  share.

10.  say I love you with abandon.  blow kisses too.  it makes friends out of strangers.

11.  swimsuits are appropriate winter wear.

12.  eat just the frosting.  lots of frosting.