Cup o choco

River and Sage ran fevers all day today.  I ran ragged.

Tonight called for self-medicating in the form of chocolate.

While making the Cup o Choco, 

I realized that so much of what I was using, 

I was given by someone.

And not just given, but really thoughtfully given...

Rainbow wisk from Libby.  

I coveted the one in her kitchen just loudly enough that she gave me my very own!

World Market ramekins from Cecilia.

She searched high and low for these gorgeous babes.

The recipe is from Charlene.  

She made it when she served us an amazing brunch at her house last time we were in KC.  I've made it several times since, and its basically fool-proof.

The pan I baked them in was from Pam for Christmas.

My KitchenAid mixer was from Grandma Myrta as a wedding gift.

The flour came from the kind Cargill folks at the museum on Saturday.

The coffee Ryan brewed for me this morning before he left for work.

Heck, even the stove Mom and Dad threw in when we bought the house.

I don't "parent my kids with scripture".  Ever.  

(breathe...step down from the soap box...breathe again...)

But I do often say to them "If we give, we must be generous."  We've talked about how much we're given every single day by God and people and nature and just all of life.  And what a treat it is to give, and to give freely.  So I do remind them often that generosity is a natural overflow of what we're given.  

Stopping and taking stock, though, of how generously I've been treated....its humbling.

Ok, here's the recipe:

(Think brownie batter, only smoother.  Yes...its that yum.)

1 1/4 c. sugar, divided

1/2 c. baking cocoa

2 Tbsp. flour

1/8 tsp. salt

3/4 c. water

heaping 3/4 c. semi-sweet chocolate chips

1 Tbsp. brewed coffee

1 tsp. vanilla

2 eggs

1 egg white

In your KitchenAid, combine the eggs and egg white and let it go to town whisking them together while you do the rest.  

In a saucepan, combine 3/4 c. sugar, cocoa, flour, and salt.  Stir in the water.  Whisk it while bringing it to a boil.  Let it boil, while whisking, for 2 minutes.  Remove from heat and stir in the chocolate chips, coffee, and vanilla.  

Back to the eggs....gradually add the remaining 1/2 c. sugar.  Let it whisk for another 3 minutes or so.  

Fold together the chocolate mixture and the egg mixture.  

Put into 6 ramekins, coated with cooking spray.  Mine are 6 oz.  If yours are 4 oz., you could get 8 or 10 out of it.  Place in a baking pan with a rim.  Add 1 inch of water to the pan.  Bake at 350 degrees for 25-30 minutes, or just until the centers are set.

Speaking of gifts, I guess this is my present to myself for tomorrow morning.  

Oh well, it was worth it.

And this is just for fun.  I have no idea what they're playing....

Tybalt

Every family needs a good, fat cat...

We love you Tybalt.  

Especially that you're declawed, patient, and friends with Sage.

Bah humbug

Happy birthday, Kansas.

There is a parasite of delusion at home in my brain.  It made me think that taking my children to an extremely crowded museum in the middle of naptime would be a good idea.

We went to the Kansas Day activities at Kaufman Museum today.  Its a huge event....lots of volunteers, more things to do than at a carnival, lots of make-and-takes, things to ride, things to learn, people to see, people to see, people to see, people to see, people to see, people to see...

I wasn't in the right frame of mind when we got there because we were getting there later than I wanted to.  That's lame though, and I eventually let it go.  Ryan got to stay home and work outside.  Much much cheaper than therapy.  And our front yard looks nicer now.

Mom and I tackled the museum together.  She was in great spirits and was able to embrace the chaos well.  I, not so much.  It was just so darn crowded.  And windy.  And cold.  And my kids were squealy and demanding.  Well, the two bigs were.  Sage, who was the most tired of all, was strapped to my chest and happy as could be.

Now they're all three in bed, and as I look back on the pictures, I realize it wasn't all as nuts as it felt.  There were some moments of greatness.  And I walked away with 4 pounds of free flour - milled yesterday at Cargill.

Meeting the locals.

the blacksmith

Asleep standing up.  Seriously.

wheat weaving

This sign was in the turn of the century house section.  Caught my eye.  

100 years later....Still true, isn't it?  Hmmm.

Veggie Dip

Maybe God knew I would have a very challenging 6 year old.  Or maybe God knew I would have terrible eyesight.  Or maybe God knew I would have size ten and a half feet.  Or maybe God just wanted to give me a break.

Either way, God gave me kids that love vegetables.  I know this is no small thing.

We would have to buy stock in Ranch dressing if we used it every time they ate raw veggies, and God knows we're not that rich.  So this is the dip we eat instead:

2 cups of lowfat cottage cheese

1/2 cup of sour cream or plain yogurt or greek yogurt

1/4 cup of fat-free mayo

1 Tbsp. onion flakes

1 tsp. dried dill weed (or a small handful of fresh in the summer)

1/2 tsp. season salt

Combine it all and serve.  I keep it on hand in the fridge - especially in the summer for garden vegetables.  The cramped-ness of Winter is getting us in more ways than one right now though, and we've been buying lots of "fresh" (a.k.a. picked on the coast, injected with preservatives, shipped to Dillons) veggies.

This is what Buzz was doing while I made the veggies.  Nothing like playing with trains on the table in your undies.  Life is good when you're a Buzz.

And Sage McCage was contributing in her way too.  We call her our "Roomba"...she so kindly takes care of any stray food that made it to the floor.  Life is good when you're a Roomba too.

the library board and human sexuality

Some days, well, most days, if anyone, anyone, asks me to do one more small thing for them, my "no" is very loud and very clear.  (I've been working on my "no" skills for awhile now and am pleased to say that I've successfully honed my talents.)  There is something about Sage McCage learning to crawl that has made everything seem more taxing.  I'm just plain so strung out by mid-afternoon that I have no trouble whatsoever turning down any extra request or opportunity that comes my way.

I didn't have my game face on though on the day that Carrie called and asked me to join the library board.  Its a 4 year term.  I said yes.  Oops.

So I attended my first board meeting.  The whole thing was troubling and mid-way through, I realized why.  It has the potential to be like the experience of my college Human Sexuality class.  Just go with me here...

In December of 1999, Ryan and I started "going out" (oh don't you love that term?  "Where are you going?  I just don't understand."  "We're not going anywhere, Mom.  We're just going out.").  

In January of 2000, I took Human Sexuality for interterm, which means you're in the class for 6 hours a day for a month.  It involved lectures on the ins and outs (sorry, I'm not mature.  I realize this.) of everything having anything to do with how we humans experience sexuality.  There were videos.  There was lots of required reading.  And there was journaling.  I resented it all.  Absolutely all of it.  I had just started this out-of-this-world amazing relationship with this increeeeeedibly sexy guy, and I was being forced to examine it all as though it was a science.  The journaling assignments were the worst.  I think I lied in half of them - just made up crap - because I didn't want to really have to think about what makes humans sexual.

That class - because of its timing in my life - stole some of the joy of my situation.

I get it now, though, that I really missed out.  Ada and Larry were awesome teachers.  The content was framed in such a great way.  If I were to take it now, I would find it all so fascinating.

Back to the library board...

I looooooove to read.  I consume books.  Consume them.  I keep a pen and journal in my lap when I read them so I can scratch down quotes and just great phrasing that I find. I fold down the pages.  I generally don't return them on time.  The smell of a book that has spent several years in a library is so so so lovely to me.  I have a friend that won't check out anything from the library. She thinks of all the germs.  How the books have sat on the backs of toilet seats and the pages turned by grimy hands and breathed on by stinky strangers.  I cannot identify.  The more loved and read they have been before they come to me, the better.  Just one of many reasons to use a library instead of a bookstore.

But did you know that there are long discussions about all things bookish in order to provide us with those dearly loved books?  There are.

I was in 4H for about 2 months as a kid, and then quit because all this "motioning" and "seconding" and "so carrying" that happened in the meetings got in the way of enjoying life.  But in order to run a library, there is a lot of such action.

I am happy that I had a moment of weakness and signed on to this board member task.  But I'm worried that my joy of consuming books will be tarnished by it.  Can I be grown-up enough this time to appreciate both being a board member and my relationship with these books?  We shall see!

newwwwwwwwwwwww

Look at our new camera!!!

I have no idea how to use it right. 

But already, it is so so so so so so much better.

Marcus and Allison heard that we were saving our pennies for a new one and gave us theirs!  It needed a $215 repair (what would this town be without Bernie?!)....just what we had saved.

Serendipity!

Story Hour

Hello!  Just wanted to let those of you who said you want a cd, I'm mailing them today.  Send me $10 please.  If you missed that post and you think you might be interested, check it out:  

Uncle Lowell's Story Hour

Goin' to the chapel

Erin - Ryan's sister - got married on the 7th in a gorgeous little chapel...

No - that's not the groom!  But this little man sure does give great kisses anyway.

Its uncanny how much they look alike.  Eva looks more like Aunt Erin than like Ryan or I!

Sadly, I have very few pictures.  I was trying to keep all 3 kids...
* from ripping their clothes
* from peeing their pants
* well snacked
* from knocking over the decorations
* being appropriate (no small feat these days)
* cooperating for pictures
* from falling over the balcony (no joke)
* and not fighting...
all in the middle of afternoon naptime.

I was so pleased that without too much effort, we all coordinated!
No great picture to show for it, but ah well - we live in the moment, right?!

He sure loves his Great Grandma Myrta.
He had my camera after this and was taking pictures.
He kept literally lifting up her chin and holding it up with one hand while taking the pictures with the other.
Fortunately, she thought it was hilarious.

Auntie Kelsey...you're not supposed to have favorites, but Buzz's heart belongs to her.

Hopefully there will be more pictures to come.  But it was a fun afternoon, a sweet wedding, and a great way to get to spend time with the extended Bartel family.  I always so enjoy them - they are a laid-back bunch of gracious and kind people.

Strengths

Today, Ryan brought home a personality quiz called Strengths Finder.  You had to answer questions on the computer in 20 seconds or less.  I wonder if Tom Rath, who wrote the test, imagined someone in my circumstances taking it.  Clearly, he doesn't have kids.  Or he would surely have allowed more than 20 seconds per question.  That is simply not enough time to remove the lighter from River's hands, pull Sage away from the tub, find the tape for Eva, move River to another room so he wouldn't sit on Sage (yes, sit on her), make the cd player stop skipping, and get the lid off the marker.  There were 60 questions, and I think I walked away from the computer 59 times to take care of something or someone.

I made it to the end though, and despite the supposed strengths the computer found for me, I am proudest of the extreme strength I mustered today - and everyday - to keep this family floating.  There is bickering and pestering and attitudes and sometimes joy.  I'm not saying that I do it superbly.  But I am saying that I DO IT.  I'm in a state of mind lately that says that this parenting/wifing/home-making thing is one heck of a hard job.  And I'm proud and grateful that I find the strength to do it.

Thank you, God, for the way your spirit urges me to dig down deep and gather up my reserves and pull through each day of this thing called being a grown-up.  And thank you for giving my family the strength to withstand my moods and whims and demands.  

This life, yes, it is good.

And its about time for another recipe....

Herb Butter...

1/2 c. butter or margarine

2 Tbsp. chives or green onion

2 Tbsp. chopped basil (you can also use dill or parsley, but as long as there is basil on this earth, why would you ever use anything but?!)

1 garlic clove, crushed

1 big dash of lime juice

Stir together and pat into a block.  Serve on oatmeal bread.

Yummmmmmmm.

Ok....tonight's dance party is to Cherry Poppin' Daddies, and it has already begun.  

If Tom Rath really knew what he was doing, he would've named Dancing as a strength!

Chaos, it is

We had to get a new dishwasher this month.  I had no idea how much I love having a dishwasher.  Let the record show: I love having a dishwasher.  Nothing like absence to make the heart grow fonder.

Eva camped out in the box for several days - for about 2 hours each time.  There were dolls, blankets, play food, and doctor stuff inside.  I remember playing like that.  Remember?  Your mind was free of absolutely everything except what you were pretending at the moment.  Oh those were the days.

There really is very little as day-making as a brand new pair of heels.  I don't think I had bought a new pair of heels for about 5 years.  Sad but true.  I wore them to Erin's wedding (pics of that day soon!).  So so fun.  And so fun to be so tall!  But oh my aching feet when I got home.  Nothing like a good soak.  I've been thinking lately about how I used to be glamorous.  I really think I was.  Ok, maybe not during the middle school years, but soon after that.  And since becoming a mama, I've adapted to a whole new kind of glamour.  I think this pic says it all...I now soak my feet with my little man in a baby tub.  But I'm happy with that.  My sister recently asked why I would want to have another baby.  I answered that 90% of the time, I honestly love the chaos of it all.  I really do.  And it has its own kind of glamour and bliss that I never imagined until it happened to me.

And last, this pic may not look remarkable.  

But it is.  

Because there is PEACE.

They are NOT FIGHTING.

Chaos, it is.  And I love it.  Most of the time.

Uncle Lowell's Story Hour

This is my friend Lowell...

Our dads were best friends as kids and grown-ups, so we've known each other forever.

He's getting a fancy degree in English at a fancy school in Chicago.  This is him grading papers - because he's also a teacher there.  (I ripped this pic from his facebook page.)

He is just an all-around great man.  Interesting, interested, musical, whimsical, very very adventurous, quite free-spirited.  But lately our favorite attribute is his excellent read-aloud skills.

This is him reading to his niece.  I bet at that moment, Thomas the Tank Engine was changing her life - just because HE was reading it.  About a year ago, he sent my kids a cd of himself reading children's books..."Uncle Lowell's Story Hour".  We have it memorized.  And we're still not tired of it.

I commissioned him to make a second cd for them for Christmas.  His girlfriend worked for NPR's Story Core, and has great equipment.  The sound is clear and good.  I like that they don't have extras - like page-turn bells or sound effects or background music.  Just straight stories.  Read by an awesome reader.

I asked him if I could offer Story Hour cds to my blog friends, and he agreed.  Because of copyright laws, you can just make a "donation" for them.  Here's a few of the stories on them...
Curious George Goes Camping
Fancy Nancy
Blueberries for Sal
Caps for Sale

If you're interested, leave a comment.  A suggested "donation" would be $10/cd.  Best investment ever.  Ever.  Your kids and nieces and nephews and grandkids and neighbors and well, just everyone, will thank you!

Silver lining on a grouchy Monday

One should generally not post when one is grouchy.

Hypothetically speaking.

But Mondays might not be one's favorite day.

And one might have children who are determined to make snarky faces when they are corrected.

A whole day of snarky faces from a 3 year old might get old.

And one might have a baby who is teething and unable to sleep.

Her baby might be precious and sweet despite it all.

But for the ever-loving world, please pretty please sleep!

And one might have 12 loads of laundry piled in a mountain on her living room floor that she's been trying to fold for the last 2 days.

And one's husband could be tutoring after work and coming home late.

And one could have cramps that are reminiscent of labor.

She might also have a husband who is avoiding her since she cut 10 inches off her hair.

Hair, that is, that is not cooperating today.

But still, one shouldn't post on a grouchy Monday.

Thankfully, one's daughter might have left her this note....

Is that you, Silver Lining?  

Yes, I believe that's you!!  

The Buzz

I'm absolutely thrillllllllllllllllllllllllllllllled
beyond belief, in fact
that River got moved from the waiting list to the CLASS LIST for
New Creation preschool!!!

Its a fantastic place.  Check out the blog:
preschool-daze.com

(As you know, Hesston College has an incredible preschool lab as well.
Alas, no openings.
You would think a girl could get her mama to pull some strings, right?
Not this one.)

Miss Kristen asked me to send her a picture of Buzz so he could have his face already in place on the attendance board when he arrives on Wednesday.  I searched through 5 months of archives.  Every single face-first picture has him either being onery or playing dress up.

What does that say about The Buzz and our life?
You may draw your own conclusions.
Enjoy...

Did I say "face first?"  Well, this is face first ...sort of.

Oh Buzz, I love you so.

Treasure Hunters

My dad had a "Craphouse" when he was growing up on the farm in Michigan - where he collected and sorted all the crap he found.  His eyes smile and his voice goes up a few pitches when he talks about all the great time he spent in solitude in the craphouse.

Every summer when we visited Grandpa's farm in Michigan, the cousins would spend hours sorting through Grandpa's junk.  He had sheds and barns and garages overflowing with things he bought at auctions and farm sales.  I would usually bring in a book, ask Grandpa to sign the inside cover, and bring it back to Kansas with me.  Once I found one of those old hairdryers with a hose that runs from the fan unit to the cap you wear on your head.  I got to bring it home and use it.  I thought I was so extremely glamorous.  (Those of you who knew me at age 10 - if you noticed an extra inch or two of fluff to my already gorgeous perm, now you know why!)  I fell in-love with a huge, heavy claw-foot tub that I begged to bring home to fill with pillows for sitting in and reading.  Mom and Dad kindly agreed, as long as I would use my allowance to rent the trailer to bring it home.  It stayed in Michigan.

My kiddos have recently found their own junkpile.....the abandoned lot behind our house where a feedmill used to stand.  They check it out every few days, in case new crap has somehow appeared.  They usually find rusty nails and bolts and chunks of concrete.  The last time we were there, Eva found a 2 foot thin metal pipe and held it above her head as though she had found the most incredible treasure.  They store their findings in their own personal craphouse - the playhouse behind our garage, and plan to sort it all when its warmer out.

I can totally appreciate the feeling of "the find".  

Of scrounging around and being allowed to take whatever you find.  

As though it was left there by someone who just knew that YOU would come along and find it and care for it.

I love it that they love this junk.

And I'll be taking your donations for tetanus shots!