No.

We want our children to grow up knowing that "no" is a complete sentence.

No.

So is "yes" for that matter.  But a simple "no" without explanation is much much harder to come by.

Try it sometime.  Its tougher than you think.

I don't say "no" very often.  When I do say it, I tend to over-explain.

I want Eva and River and Sage to trust themselves.  To trust their inner spirit, the God in them, their deep sense of truth and direction so much that when they say that simple "no", they can do it with complete confidence.

I'm reminded of our goal this week.  Eva has tagged everything with the word....the sidewalk, the driveway, the garage wall, the house wall, the back door, her room wall...and more.  Instead of getting mad, I'm celebrating that she knows the word and how to use it.  I wonder too what bigger thing is going on inside her that she's expressing this way.

River is saying "no" in his own way.  Last night, friends stopped by for a quick visit.  He whispered in my ear,

"I don't want him to play with any of my toys."

I get that sharing and generosity are priceless virtues.  But so is knowing what one wants and how to effectively communicate it.  I whispered back,

"Ok.  That's alright."

So he silently and without explanation constructed this fence to the playroom.

He was saying "no."  And we honored it.

The chalk photo is going up on my wall... to remind me to practice what I preach.  And to trust myself too.

Pesto

Oh my beloved basil.  Is your garden overflowing too?  Make this!

Quick, Classic Pesto
2 cloves garlic
2 c. fresh basil (not yet chopped)
2 Tbsp. pecans (forget pine nuts - way too expensive)
1/2 c. plus 2 Tbsp. freshly grated parmesan
pinch of kosher salt
1/2 c. EVOO
2 Tbsp. soft butter

In the food processor, process the garlic, nuts, basil, cheese and salt until fine.
Pour the evoo through the feed tube while the processor is running - add until it becomes a smooth paste.
Add the butter.

Can be refrigerated for 3 months or frozen for longer.

Meal ideas:
- Add to any quiche that already calls for spinach to jazz up the flavor.
- Score both ways a round loaf of artesian bread.  Fill the cracks with basil and mozzarella.  Heat through in the oven. 
- Spread generously on whole wheat tortillas.  Top with sundried tomatoes, feta, and Mediterranean olives.  Bake until heated through.  Makes great pizzas.
- Add basil LEAVES to lemonade
- Spread on crescent rolls and sprinkle with feta before rolling them up and baking them for a great appetizer.
- Drizzle pesto over roasted potatoes or other vegetables.

Christmas in September

Christmas came early this year.  

Grandma and Grandpa Bartel showed up and took the kids to the park for over an hour.  

Ryan and I did not go on a date, watch football, 

have a calm relaxing dinner, sit down for a nice chat, or go shopping.  

We did something even better....a mad scramble to clean the house.  

Maybe its sad.  Or maybe its just reality.  But a straightened-up house is so so so good for my soul.

Then they took us out for pizza.  

You could put a bow on that.  

Grandma and Grandpa, can we do it again SOON?!

Fall #2

This is what Fall currently looks like...very green, scorched leaves.
And I love it.

Reason #2 I love Fall...
We have an extended backyard around the corner - known to some as Heritage Park.  Known to us as "the train park".  Where I walk back and forth and back and forth and back and forth and back and forth.  And back and forth on the sidewalk while the kids play.

It is absolutely remarkable how well they get along when they know I'm not in earshot.  I usually get about an hour of back and forthing in before they tire of each other.  It does help to have such a fantastic walking partner...

 

There are numerous other perks to this location.  Its smack in the center of town, which means that on the most recent day there, I...

1.  said hi to a friend who was out walking with her kids (that's you Bec!)

2.  talked to our middle school janitor who was walking home

3.  got 2 free loaves of bread from the woman across the street.  (Does she not see from me walking that I already...well, nevermind, thanks for the bread.  I can always use more.)

4.  got a free newspaper from a passerby

5.  watched the soccer game across the street 

6.  did not sweat when getting exercise for the first time in 5 months b/c its shaded

7.  talked on the phone with Sweet Baby Kai and my sister

8. best of all - was treated to a concert, complete with "rock banjos" (a.k.a. shovels):

If you look closely, you'll also see that it has excellent restroom facilities...

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh....Fall......Reason #2 I love you. (first was apple picking - remember?)

And Reason #1 I love my small town life.

Apples to Pastry

We stopped at an orchard with our friends on the way home from KC.  They are just our kind of people...ones who get excited about a hot afternoon at an orchard where apples are only 50 cents a pound and the kiddos can eat while they pick.  Oh Fall, I love you for so many reasons...and so far this year, apple picking gets to be #1.

I don't like pie.  But I really do like this.  Let's just call it a "Creamy Apple Pastry".  Its Talashia's recipe, and we make it every Thanksgiving.  But why wait?!

1 unbaked pie crust

6 c. peeled, cubed apples

1/3 c. sugar

3 Tbsp. corn starch

1 tsp. cinnamon

1/4 tsp. allspice

1 c. sour cream (I used greek yogurt this time - Fage brand)

1 tsp. vanilla

topping:

1/3 c. flour

1/4 c. packed brown sugar

1/2 tsp. cinnamon

2 Tbsp. cold butter

Combine the apples, sugar, cornstarch, and allspice.  In a separate bowl, combine the vanilla and sour cream.  Mix with the apples.  Put into the pastry crust (see? even the recipe calls it that!).  Cut together the topping mixture, and sprinkle it over the apples.  Bake at 400 degrees for 25 minutes.  Then reduce the heat to 350 degrees and bake for 25-30 minutes, or until bubbly and golden.

 

Y'all Come Back Now...

I can't help it.  

Just have to post more wedding pics.  

I'm doing a little self-medicating because its making me sick that we're not at the Winfield Bluegrass Festival this weekend.  Listening to anything but bluegrass music, cooking on my real stove, and reliving last weekend helps...

Kyle and one of the photographers checking the weather - about 10 minutes before it poured.
Rumor has it that I asked this guy if he and his partner were "partners".
In my defense, there was an open margarita bar.
They were not, but at least they took it as a compliment.

River's ring pillow.  Lori's sister can make anything and make it look easy.

I caught River and Great Grandma Myrta deep in conversation.

Uncle Joe let River "haul" him all over the field.
Who says a boy and his uncle can't pass as a tractor and a grain truck!?

Thanks, Kyle and Lori, for such a fun night!

Giddy Yup

Kyle and Lori's wedding in Lawrence last weekend was amazing!

It took place on her mom's ranch...

in a field surrounded by trees...

on the top of a hill...Gorgeous.  

The party started at 3 pm and wound up around midnight for us.  

The kids were fantastic.  Absolute angels.  

The clouds opened and the sun shined on us - literally!

Lori's dress was stunning.  She was just breath-taking!  

Real men drink sprite with pink straws.

Under the tent waiting for the rain to stop so the wedding could begin.

We waited about 20 minutes, and then just as we sat down and the ceremony started, the sun shone.

Pam's brothers from North Dakota all made it.

Sage McCage didn't want to miss a good party, and was awake the entire evening.

With Auntie Erin.  His black eye turned out to make him a crazy cute cowboy.

Groom's Cake (this pic's for you, Jodi!)

First taste of red velvet cake.

After the ceremony, I found Eva sitting on the hay bale with her head down.
She said, "I'm just sad its over."
I left her there to just be for awhile.
My feelings exactly.

Brahm's

We had an awesome time in Lawrence this weekend for my brother-in-law's wedding.  The details will come in separate posts.  I'll start at the end...

We splurged on icecream at Brahm's on the way home.  The kids were absolute ANGELS at the wedding, so (because we do indeed bribe our children) we told them they could get whatever they wanted.  

Eva wore her cute black shirt, brown and pink pj pants, and white dress shoes into the restaurant.  Because its all about being comfortable.

The Chachi Band chose bright blue birthday cake icecream covered in hot fudge.  Buzz made it very clear from the moment we breathed the word "icecream" miles and miles away from the exit that he would have... 

"Orange icecream only.  Because it is yummy.  

And I do not like chocolate chip or mint.  

I will have orange icecream.  Mama?  I would like orange icecream.  Thank you Mama.  

I want my icecream to be orange.  I like orange icecream Mama.  Because I like that kind.  

My icecream needs to be orange, Mama."

Upon arrival, his was loaded on top with hot fudge also.  That's when the real fun began.

River's promptly plopped upside down on the floor.  Of course, we scooped it up and put it back in his bowl and handed it back to him.  Ryan has a very low tolerance for strange smells, and decided he could not stand the smell of the floor as he was wiping up the hot fudge, so he handed me his cone and went to the bathroom.  (Yes, it is JUST now occurring to me that if the floor smelled that sour, maybe our son shouldn't be eating icecream off of it.)

I sat with a baby on my lap and a cone in each hand.  So naturally while he was gone, Sage McCage got her first taste of icecream and the eldest two decided sucking hot fudge through straws was the best route to full enjoyment.

By the end, River even had hot fudge on the back of his neck.  Eva had it on the back of her knees.  And Sage just plain had a tummy ache.

The next 20 minutes went something like this:

Me:  Ok, Riv.  We are just going to strip you down and give you a scrub.

River:  Will you wash that shirt Mama?  I like that shirt.  There is chocolate on it. 

Me:  Yes, Buzz.  I'm just going to soak your clothes here.  I'll wash them at home.

River:  clad only in his tighties I have to go potty.  Why did it flush before I was done?  I want to push that button again. and again and again and again

.....

Eva:  I have to poop.  Can you wait in here for me?

Me:  Yes, River don't touch that toilet seat.  Keep your hands out of your underwear.  Do you have to go poop too?  Are you sure you don't?  No, gross.  Keep your hands off the walls.  Take them out of your mouth.  Can you jump up and down? Show me how you can jump up and down.  Eva, are you done yet?

Eva:  No, I'm going to need about 24 more minutes (I swear that's what she said)

Me:  Ok Buzz, you go to the car with Daddy

...Back at the car, putting a clean shirt on River, with a very tan very beautiful very sleek Johnson County family climbing into their very clean very waxed very posh very white SUV beside us...

River:  Oh look!  My shirt has a beer bottle on it!

Eva:  That's Daddy's favorite drink.

Me:  No, its a coke can.  And that's not Daddy's favorite drink.

Eva:  Yes, it is.  He told me it is!

Me:  Eva, why are you taking your shirt off?  That's not appropriate for a parking lot.  Can you see that we're putting shirts ON here?

Eva:  Well, I'll get hot.  And it has blue icecream all over it.

River:  I think I have to poop, Mama.

...

...

...

Thank you, my sweet children for keeping my life interesting.  

And mostly today, thank you for keeping me humble.

Big girl panties

About 3 times a day, I'm not in the mood to do the things I'm supposed to do.  Maybe 4.

I give myself a little pep talk that goes something like this...

"Now Self, its not supposed to be easy.  Lots of stuff in life isn't fun.  Think of a way to make it better and do it anyway."

When that doesn't work, my talk goes something like this...

"Ok, just put on your big girl panties and get the job done."

This week, I put on my big girl panties and... 

fed my baby solid food. 

And potty trained my little man.

Look at those underwear!  Black eye courtesy of the corner shelf in the playroom.

I would go so far as to give someone my hair if they would potty train my kids.  I dread it that much.  But it seems that this week, River decided to put on his big boy pants and get the job done.

Praise the Lord.

His little bunsers are so cute in those tighties!!

And Sage is clearly my 3rd child, because I was in absolutely no rush to start solids. I could feed her only bottles til she starts kindergarden and be content.  But alas, Dr. Jantz says we must begin solids by 6 months.  So on 6 months minus 1 day, we began solids.

And lo and behold, she likes them.  

And its easy.  Of course it is, because its Sage we're talking about here.

We are headed to Kyle and Lori's wedding tomorrow.  Eva, River, and Ryan are all in it.  Two children looking shiny and clean and cute and neatly pressed for a whole day.  Without the help of my husband.  I will take an extra stash of big girl panties along.

Jena

Check out the Never a Dull Moment blog - linked in the right sidebar.  Jena is my extremely brave friend.  She's one tough lady.  Read her latest post to see what the two of us were up to last week.

Oh Happy Day

This awesome lady turns 52 (give or take a few) today!

We celebrated with a party at our house last night.  

She would probably like me to mention that she is wearing her pjs here.  And that it wasn't her idea.  More on that later.

I vividly remember buying my mom a little bank in the shape of a doll for Christmas when I was 6 years old.  I looked through the whole store and chose for her what I would most want.  Nevermind that she had no need for a piggy bank - let alone one that looked like a doll - relinquishing it to her was truly an act of generosity.  As we got ready for Mom's party on Friday, I knew that giving my kids the same experience of planning, choosing, creating, and giving would be the very best way to honor the special lady whose birthday we were celebrating...

We began by making placemats for everyone.  This took about 2 hours because it included stamps, glitter, hole punches, paints, glue, and even medical tape.  (STILL not sure where that came from.)

Then we went to the Dollar Tree to choose her gifts.  Eva asked me no less than 12 times if she could pick something for herself there too, which led to reminders that this day was about Mami, not us.  But by the time we got there, I was touched by how carefully they made their selections.

River chose the pink icecream truck within about 5 minutes.  He originally chose a fire engine, but then decided Mami would like this one better.  Eva chose this incredible (probably highly toxic and terrible for the environment but super fun) modeling confetti stuff.  She settled on it "because I know Mami likes to do crafts".  Actually, Mami doesn't like to do crafts.  But she knows Eva does, so she does them with her!  And Sage chose these (also likely highly toxic but super fun) plastic balloons that come in a tube.  

Next came wrapping.  The highlight for Eva was using tape.  The highlight for River was "being a big boy so I can use the scissors, right Mama?!".  The highlight for me was getting to mix the pizza dough with two contented and busy kids nearby.

At the Dollar Tree, both kiddos also chose a balloon for Mami.  We splurged on birthday headbands.  (Note...I reaaaaaaaaally like that store.  I realize most of the gadgets in it are grounds for a discussion on the ethics of production, child labor, environmental waste, etc.  But for now, let's just refrain.)

In choosing our attire for the party, we contemplated many options and finally landed on pjs - because what in the world could ever be better?!!

Mom and Dad were great sports.  We enjoyed a fabulous evening together.  The kids experienced planning a celebration for someone else, simple giving, and the love of family.  And most importantly, we spent time honoring the lovely lady who means so much to us!