done or not done

Shall we talk about this delicately or just plain discuss it?  

Ok, we'll let the pepper picture do the delicate work.  (seeds, ovums, you get it)

Let's have a discussion about something I think is on the minds of many at this current "station" in life, but that we feel weird evaluating out in the open air.  Let's grab the power of SHE and wrestle through something we women should be talking about....

Are we done having kids or aren't we?

I have always always always dreamt of a huge family.  4 kids, or maybe 5, or if I'm lucky 6.

Do we have enough money to have more?

Can we find enough money to have more?

Can the children we already have expand themselves and shrink their own needs enough to create space for another?

Is my body telling me to stop?

What will happen if our new little one has special needs, and "needs" more than your "average" person - which is already so so so much.

Can our current chaos get more chaotic?

Will I lose my mind with 4 instead of 3 little bugs to tend to?

Will everything on my body sag even more than it already does when this is over?

Do I really want to go through more months of bedrest?

Can I bear more months of puking?

This is a person we are talking about....is there someone we should be bringing into the world?

Do I want to stay home for another 5 years?

And more than anything else, what is God intending for our family?

It seems that Ryan and I have this way of making big and little life decisions - like moving, jobs, cars, money, redos, friendships, etc.  We sit inside ourselves, talking about it at random times, sensing our inner God-stirrings, moving through our days in awareness of The Big Question - whatever it may be.  This method is not working for the big Do We Have Another Child question.

Neither one of us are coming to any kind of concrete answer in our usual way.  We started a tally on the kitchen wall - yes, a tally - of days we say we are "done" and days we say we are "not done".  It was Ryan's suggestion because he says I'm "done" more than I think I am.  So far, he's right and the "done"s are winning.  But that makes me sad.  

When you are done, do you just know it?  Is it just crystal clear?  

I'm really really good with things being gray.  I would rather not live in the black and white.  It seems that when answers aren't there yet, its because its not time for them to be there yet.  This is a big deal though.  A Big Question.  And I'm ever so ready for the answer to be ever so clear.

Advise me, and maybe along the way - one another.  Let's talk about it. 

GF waffles

Whether you eat gluten-free or not is irrelevant.  These are hands-down the.best.waffles.ever.for.all.people.on.plantet.earth.for.all.time.whether.you.eat.wheat.or.not.

Its waffle night at our house once a week lately.

So it wouldn't be kind to hog the recipe all to myself any longer...

I use Silvana's recipe for all-purpose flour - just a big batch that I keep around and substitute for "regular white flour" in any and every recipe.  Its the most no-fail GF flour mixture out there, and much less expensive than GF store-bought flour....

6 c. white rice flour 

3 c. tapioca starch

1 1/2 c. potato starch (NOT potato flour)

1 Tbsp. salt

2 Tbsp. xanthum gum

(makes 4 lbs.)

So, the waffles........ 

This is also Silvana's recipe, with some tweaks.

2 c. GF flour (see above)

1/4 c. sugar

3/4 Tbsp. baking powder

1/2 tsp. salt

2 eggs

1/4 c. canola oil

1 1/2 c. milk

The batter will be super thick.  I think I have a medium-ish size waffle maker, and it makes 4 waffles.

Happy Waffle Night!!!!

Big Monday

Ok, so I didn't get to go to the beach, but I did get to spend all of Sunday afternoon and evening in Wichita by myself.....Barnes & Noble, a movie, and Target.  Two Starbucks drinks.  My parents' car.  A bucket of popcorn just for me.  Time in my soul journal.  People magazine.  Ahhhh...I'm in a much better frame of mind now.  As much as I crave being with people, its amazing what some time to myself does for me.

In other news, Sage and River are very anxious to camp again.  So much so that they are practicing on the driveway.

This is what we are doing today.....celebrating MLK Jr. Day and watching #44 begin term #2.  Its a very very good day!!!

Start Here....

Look closely, you'll see where I get my wicked dance moves...

...from my Dad.  Well, sort of.

Hesston College: Start Here, Go Everywhere.  Gangam Style.

roadtrip?

I am in serious need of this.  Just saying.

10ish

I really wanted to keep up with this 10 in 10 on the 10th thing.  I just can't abide by such specific and demanding rules though. Cannot abide.  So here's 10 from the 12th.

See the TEN chapter on the right column for previous 10s.

This was a Saturday afternoon.  We played Aerosmith's Walk This Way over and over.  

Ba-da-da-da-ba-da-da-dum......Ba-da-da-da-ba-da-da-dum....

Just fit the mood.  So play it in your head while you scroll...

Kirstie is our 3rd daughter.  I love how she looks at me over her glasses when we talk.  Such a great kiddo, and she can make butterflies with glitter.  Bonus.

I found this frame at Et Cetera for $1, spray painted it, and put old book pages inside.  My new kitchen whiteboard!  

They were working on the new chicken coop.  Our new babies come in a week!  If you look closely, you'll see that Ryan's ass is on fire.  I told you he's a hottie!

Friends, meet Sticky Bacon.  

Its like a little love letter to your arteries....."Dear Arteries, you are hard working and oh so healthy.  I'm giving you a little crack cocaine just so you can boast to your friends about what skill you have at withstanding truly whatever slides your way.  You.can.do.it."

(Charlene, this is mostly your recipe)

Line a pan with parchment paper.  Put a cooling rack in the pan and place 1 lb. of bacon in single strips on top.  Bake at 375 for 10 minutes.  Then brush it with this (already blended):

3/4 c. brown sugar

1/2 c. apple juice or white wine

2 Tbsp. Dijon mustard

Bake for 10 minutes more.  Flip over the bacon an brush that side.  Bake 15 minutes more.  

EAT.  Fast.

They worked for 2 hours on this "robot".  It Even had 2 secret compartments in its back.  Now if I could just get it to fold the laundry....

prime seating

Jesus said you have to be [joyful like a child], 
or you will get a chair in heaven 
near the Aerosol Cheese Products, not the cherries and peaches.

(- Anne Lamott in a recent post)

I'm a fan of spray cheese.  Especially on long road trips.  But the chair by the fruit does sound much more bearable...eternity-wise.

Ryan has been working allllll weekend.

I have a head cold that has taken up residence in my frontal lobe.  Its like someone wearing heavy-duty work boots stepped on my face, right across my nose and cheeks.  They paused there just to be obnoxious and then walked on.  This face throb just won't leave, no matter how much ibuprofen I throw at it.  

Eva and River cannot be in the same room without throwing punches.  They are incredible and smart and adorable and kind and creative and fun and interesting in their own right.  But together, they are THE Tasmanian Devil.

We can't go to the park because our bodies will stick to the frozen equipment.

Our nanny has been out of the state for 2 weeks now.

There was a grown-up party next door, but I sent Ryan to it instead of me because good grief he's a hard worker.  He got to stay out til 2 am.  I got to not stay out til 2 am and not be with grown-ups.

BUT.....

I reeeaalllly want that prime eternal seating.  So....

There are monster cookies in the oven.

We are listening/dancing/fighting to an awesome mix cd of kids' music from Auntie Kara.

Eva is "baking" on the kitchen table with flour, butter, and water.  She can't ingest the flour but she still loves to experiment with it.

KU is playing!  ROCK CHALK!!

Riv has a friend coming over soon.

I'm about to do the first of 12 loads of laundry, which actually makes me happy because every last pair of leggins is dirty.

CHOOSE JOY.  Do it with me.  I dare you.  Joy is NOW.  I believe it!!!

I'll share my monster cookies, because chocolate and peanut better are naturally homeopathic remedies for grouchy bla winter Sundays, right?

This is your recipe, Melody!

And - all my GF reader friends - its GF!!

2 eggs

1/3 c. margarine

1 c. brown sugar

3/4 c. white sugar

1 tsp. vanilla

1 1/2 tsp. baking soda

1 c. peanut butter

3 c. oats

1 c. m&ms

1/2 c. semi-sweet chocolate chips

Mix together well everything but the oats, m&ms, and chocolate chips.  Mix in the oats.  Mix in the candy!  Put raquet ball size balls on a greased cookie sheet.  I use 2 scoops of the cookie scooper per cookie.  Bake at 350 for 11 minutes - careful not to overbake!

Kefir

I promised to introduce you to kefir awhile back.

The short version is that it is a kind of yogurt that we grow overnight on our counter.  We strain off the yogurt in the morning and add new milk to the "curds" that are left behind to grow new yogurt for the next morning.

We have all been drinking a fruit shake for breakfast every single morning for the past 6 months.  Zero complaints.  Seriously, zero, which is no small thing.  And we stay full until lunch.

Kefir has all the benefits of traditional grocery-store yogurt, but no added sugars or other ingredients.  It also has slightly different active cultures, which are even more beneficial for gut-health.  It "colonizes" your intestinal tract with the micro-organisms that improve your immune system.

Here's what the "starter" looks like:

Its like friendship bread - you get a starter from someone and you just keep growing it, discarding some when it gets to be too much.  You can also buy the starter grains at health-food stores.

Here's how we make our morning shakes:

3 cups of kefir (strained, no starter)

2 Tbsp peanut butter

1/4 c. flaxmeal

1 banana

1/2 c. frozen fruit (strawberries, blueberries, cherries, peaches)

squirt of agave nectar (about 1 Tbsp.)

You can also use it in recipes, just like you would yogurt - I've put it in these:

Corny Cornbread

Butternut Bisque

Delicious, filling, and good for you.  I am the world's ambassador for this stuff.  Get some somehow and start having it daily.  You're welcome!

favorite things #6

Its been too long since a Favorite Things post, don't you think?  Come on, don't you?!  

I've been collecting these for awhile.

Like bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens...

She can be one of your favorite things too, I'll share. What the world needs now is Sage, sweet Sage.

The netipot!!!!  Its insane.  You fill it with warm water and saline powder, and then you pour it into your nostril.  It runs through your sinuses and out the other nostril.  Let's see how many times I can say nostril.  It is amaaaaaazing.  Like a massage for your sinuses.  And your nostrils.  Not even a little glamorous, but no one promised that nostrils would be.  You know that incredible feeling when water drains out of your ear after you swim?  Its like that.  For your nostrils.

A Tree Grows in Brooklyn is the absolute best literary experience of my entire life.  Period.

It was written by a homemaker in 1935, who would get up and write - literally with her hand and her pencil - early in the morning before her family was up.  The plot is nothing remarkable, but the weaving together of words is phenomenal.  

The rooms in heaven have different smells.  One is babies' skin.  One is rain.  One is peppernuts.  One is old books.  I smelled this book every time I opened it because heaven is also a place on earth!  

Because the writing is amazing and because I loved this exact old copy of it, I rechecked it 3 times and still racked up a late fee.  Ryan bought it from the library for me for Christmas.  Most thoughtful gift ever.

I'm inept and can't capture the color.  But this new gray nail polish is only $2.89 and has a matte finish. The color is "sidewalk".  And for once, when it says "quick dry," its the truth!!

Its disturbing that its udder cream, let's just own that.  But its the best lotion ever made.  I bought a big ol' tub of it at an Amish store in Indiana, but I'm pretty sure you can get it at most pharmacies.

 Pomegranite.  An explosion in your mouth.  Every time.  What's not to love?

Look at my new legs!!  Just kidding.  Not mine.  But oh how I do love leggins.  Thank you, 1991, for coming back.  Sincerely, thank YOU, you have made my every day so much more comfortable.  Now if only I could figure out how to wear them with puffy vests....