I had a barbie when I was little. One. She had homemade clothes from Aunt Venita, and her wedding dress was my favorite. She didn't have cars or houses or pets, but she did have a hairbrush.
I have body issues like every woman. No more than most women. Maybe less. I'm happy in my skin, thankful for my health, don't mind looking in the mirror, and especially like my wrists and ankles. I can't remember ever wishing for barbie's figure, but do often wish I was thinner, more fit, and had bigger boobs. (Just for the record, I do not wish for creepy eyes like that bunny or funky legs like that polly pocket.)
I wasn't going to let my daughters have barbies. It just seems so clear that they will inherently have increased body issues if I let them spend hours playing with those dolls. They represent so much that is wrong with "our" thinking about women...that hair length, hip size, breast fullness, clear tanned skin, and white, straight teeth must be just so. Not to mention that most barbies are Caucasian, skimpily dressed, and have a smile plastered on their face.
I asked numerous friends - those with small children, without children, and grown children - their opinions on the dolls...women and men that I admire and who seem to have a healthy sense of self and of what it means to be a woman.
Every single female said she played with Barbies as a child.
One said that as long as you talk with your daughter about the fact that Barbie isn't "normal", its fine. One said that she will never ever let her children near "that plastic trash".
Another one said she just doesn't see any concern at all.
Most agreed that the fact that it took up space in our conversation shows that we'll be raising healthy, self-aware, strong daughters regardless of whether they have barbies or not.
Ryan and I finally decided that Barbie could cross our threshold. Since that first one, about 7 of her sisters have found their way into our home too.
Eva plays with them nearly every day, talking to them and for them. When I eavesdrop on their conversation, she's usually narrating what they're doing - getting dressed, combing their hair, taking care of babies, taking a rest, going to school, etc. Despite how they're dressed and their criminally skinny bodies, they're not talking about tramping around with boys or reapplying their lipstick or getting boob jobs.
I feel good about our decision to let her have them, but still frustrated about the conflicting messages I'm sending her about bodies. And what are we teaching our son about women? So far, he doesn't show an interest in playing with them, but sometime he might. What ideas about femininity will he subconsciously absorb?
Ug...Barbie...Just my spinning for today...
