GPP Eve

So here I am, on the eve of the Great Paint Project, and I'm not doing well.

The crazies are swarming in my head because I know I've said I want to paint the playroom and make a huge change but really I'm all talk and I hate change.

Its making me snap at Ryan, even though he stayed up after he had already said goodnight to unscrew the light switch covers.  And he even went to the garage for a ladder to unscrew the vent, without a single sigh.  I snapped because he was standing there with the paintbrush doing a test spot to check out if it will bead or not, because of the varnish already there.  He was standing there painting this extra edge thing after already doing the test spot, and just seeing the test spot on the wall made me panicky and twitchy, so I had to quickly medicate my anxiety by snapping.

And now I'm breaking the "don't eat after supper" rule and not only eating, but eating greasy sour cream and onion chips straight from the bag.  With orange juice.

And sitting there eating and reading Anne Lamott and thinking that I have no taste in decorating and my whole house looks like a consignment sale and what in the world am I thinking choosing this weird gray green blue color to cover up those gorgeous walls?

This, my friends, is how I experience change.  Always have.  Always will.  Might as well own it.

So tomorrow it begins.  I will keep you posted with pictures.  Goal #1 for tomorrow:  Turn on some music, drink a Sonic cherry limeade, and enjoy my kids being in Megan's great care while I get to paint.  All this while not getting my panties in a wad of how dreadfully, painfully, ridiculously, achingly painful this simple change is.  Sigh.