I'm beginning to wonder if I might be going to some sort of Scandalous Vein Harvesting Operation to get my legs done. Signs of this would be....
1. I haven't seen a "doctor" except in surgery
2. There are none of those fancy diplomas in frames on the walls that are usually in doctor's offices. There is however, a collage of fuzzy pictures of the surgeon with her arms around her friends in what appears to be a swamp or some far-away 3rd world country
3. When I walk in the door, the receptionists greet me by name before I even say hi
4. I called to be sure I was on the wait list for the phlebectomy (fancy name for We Poke You With Needles And Rip Out Your Ugly Vein Surgery), and was given a tentative appointment for November 17. I was called back that afternoon and told there was a cancellation and I could have it done this Saturday
5. They do surgeries on Saturday afternoons
6. McHottie, who says he is an ultrasound technician, gets to poke me with needles, cut my legs, and sew me up
7. McHottie even works there
8. They give out ativan
9. Although I have cleared this with insurance, I have yet to see a bill
10. They cut your paper shorts
But you know what? I don't care how fishy or not fishy that place is, they are nice and they got me in 2 months early! So I went on Saturday afternoon for the dreaded phlebectomy. It went something like this...
First, she drew around the ugly vein with a sharpie marker. One of the more flattering things I have ever seen on my own body. So flattering, in fact, that I asked them to go get Ryan from the waiting room so he could take a picture of it. Sorry folks, there's an invisible line of TMI that I won't be crossing, as super gorgeous as that picture is, I'm not posting it here. She asked what I call it, and when I said "my treasure map," she labelled it. Gave the surgeons and techs something to laugh at when they got started!
Then, it went something like this...
shots
burning and stretching
more shots
some rocking back and forth of my leg
snipping sounds
shots
McHottie making a joke about my knee becoming a sprinkler (of blood, I'm assuming?)
another shot or two
more snipping
and then the wrap
and then I glanced at the side table.....couldn't help it - the bright red color and my curiousity got the best of me......because I know you've always wondered....veins from your leg look like little slimy translucent worms!
I was extremely nervous this time - a little bit for the pain, but mostly to be awake during something so gross. But like a c-section, you just lay there and talk to yourself like a beloved mental patient and you make it through.
There are 23 cuts in my leg because they take it out bit by bit. So what you see here is about 2 inch thick bandages covering each one, and then a tight ace bandage over it all...
Believe it or not, I'm counting down the hours to the dreadful tights (which I'll wear for another 3 weeks) because this bandage is excruciating. Like wake-up-in-the-night-crying painful. Its very very tight. Not to mention makes my leg twice as big! Plus, I cannot wait to see what my leg looks like! They said to expect purple and lumpy (and I paid money for this?!?!).
About an hour after I got home last night, we hosted cardnight - with 5 other couples. Mom said I was crazy for hosting a 4 course dinner that night, but we had a great time. The only crazy thing was me trying to drink an Arnold Palmer. For future reference, do not drink anything when you're on ativan. Just don't.
So....TMI once again. I'll do my best to make it through these 24 hours. You do your best to get that worm image out of your head! Good luck to us both!