You missed it didn't you?
Too Much Information, that is.
Well, I'm not one to disappoint...
If you're new here, click on the TMI label over there -------------------------------->
Today was injections in my calves and behind my knee - because when they did the burning-laser-whatever-that-was back in September, they couldn't go that low because the veins weren't big enough.
No sedatives or numbing agents this time. Just good old shots, injecting chemicals. I lost count at 30. I think there were 40ish? It hurt. Lots. I feel super tough that I only said ouch once. And I didn't cry. I did discover that I can go 30 minutes without breathing except maybe twice.
Let's play High-Low....
HIGH -
No paper shorts this time. I wore a short skirt and they just hiked it up. And bonus, I remembered pretty panties!
HIGH -
McHottie was still there with his wandering wand. I feel like we're going to go ahead and clock that as a High. He had too much facial hair this time, but because I didn't see it until I was walking out the door and he took off his mask, still a high.
LOW -
About 5 minutes in, the surgeon - holding the syringe midair - gave me a quick commercial for her newest surgical specialty:
"I just returned from an amazing fellowship in Georgia and if you have any friends (read: YOU, not 'your friends') that are at the age where they are needing breast augmentation, tummy tucks, butt augmentation, face lifts, all that, I'll be offering some really reasonable prices. Just have them give me a call. You know, I first got in this business to help people............."
That's where I stopped listening because I wanted to kick her in the face and as I contemplated this, I noticed that her face DID NOT MOVE when she talked. And I couldn't find a single wrinkle. But I am 99% sure she is over 50. I just feel like this is an all-around Low for womankind.
HIGH -
When we were done, McHottie said something about having some medicine left in his syringe and liking me an awful lot and why let it go to waste and let's just take care of some of those spider veins. So he gave me about 10 more injections in my thigh. Being the good bargain hunter I am, I casually mentioned the matching ones in my other thigh, but alas he was out of meds. So on a good day, I'll show you both thighs. On a bad day, I'll only be exposing my left. But hey, one's always better than none!
LOW -
This wrap. On both legs this time. 48 hours of gimping around.
DOUBLE LOW -
2 weeks of tights. I don't know where I was when they told me this in my pre-op appointment because I so did not plan for it. We have swimming lessons and grown-up parties to go to. And mostly I just didn't mentally prepare for being bound and constricted Mormon-style for the next forever.
HIGH -
Maxi skirts are still in style, praise the Lord!!!!!!!!
I drove in the driveway afterwards (yes drove, 45 minutes home, how I don't really know) and was greeted at the car door by Buzz, and I was super excited to impress him with my toughness...
Me: Guess how many shots I got?
Riv: A million!!!
Me: Not quite.
Riv: Am I close?
Me: No not really.
Riv: Do I need to go up or down?
Me: Down.
Riv: 2 notches?
Me: No. Lots more.
Riv:..................
Me: I think I got 35 shots!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Riv: Mom!!! (and he runs off, unimpressed. Well, sorry son, but could you start with maybe 10 next time instead of a million?)
And now I'm off to my Lortab sleep. Hopefully this is the last TMI installment for all time. But I can't make any promises, seeing as how I'm embarking on two weeks of hose.....