Let's talk about the difference between memory and reality for a minute here, shall we?
Feeling a tad excited about having more than 5 minutes for a shower, I did a little twirl in front of the bathroom mirror before hopping in this morning.
Oooh look how my tummy is a tad flatter and oh wow I think my boobs look a little bigger and look at that amazing tight ahhhhhhhh waaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyt a minute....how did the cottage cheese I ate yesterday afternoon make it to my ass already?! There it is, that is it, the cottage cheese is literally showing through my skin, why do they not put warnings on those containers?! And where are my thighs? When did my butt become friends with the back of my knees?! Is this what they mean when they say "saddle bags?!" Because clearly I have two bags, stuffed quite heavy, resting below each hip.
What in all tarnation happened to me in the last three years?!! My showers have been sandwiched between scraping oatmeal off the wall and herding cats to the van for preschool. I have somehow forgotten to check out my hind quarters every morning and have left the beloved mirror twirl behind for the sake for an extra swig of coffee before jumping in.
In my ever-so-clear memory, mine hind is tight, smooth, and standing at attention.
What I saw today does not belong on my body. It belongs to someone quuuuuiiiite a bit older and saggier.
Tears have been shed, glute-tightening exercises have been researched, and people, I am moving on.
I suppose I post this here to say to my fellow sisters-mamas-friends-womankind that your mama warned you about it, and I am here to testify that it is true......Enjoy it while you've got it, because ladies, these asses, they do eventually sag. And when you're like me and you discover that yours has joined the club, try these things...
1. cry if you like. Its your party.
2. call on your friends
3. do what you can to bring it back to attention (I resolve to do those stupid exercises)
4. invest in great jeans (thank goodness for my 2 new favorite pairs. Otherwise today would've been spent shopping)
5. dance it out. SHAKE what the good Lord gave you!
6. celebrate that we women are crazy awesome. And that whether cottage cheese resides in our fridge or our asses, we are SHE - and we are wise and beautiful and powerful and creative and lively and soulful and rich and kind and fun and REAL.
Onward, my sisters!!!
A space for spinning through life's accidental discoveries...