"It is a violation of trust to use your kids as caulking for the cracks in you." - Lamott
Yes. To let them be them. To celebrate them. To be filled to overflowing by their uniqueness. To not suck them dry trying to turn them into something I need them to be.
Tonight when I was putting The Buzz to bed, we were talking about how crazy it is that he'll be a dad someday, and he started talking about when he would marry Eva. I said he can't marry his sisters, and it made him cry. First just the twitching lower lip, and eventually big time sobs. The sweetest, funniest thing ever. Then when I said he could marry another girl, he cried again, saying "I don't like girls!" Then when I said he could still be a Dad and adopt, he cried again, saying "I don't want to be alone!" We left it at that and didn't get into other marrying options because next he talked about marrying me and living here forever and I just didn't have the heart to break his yet another time.
So innocent. So sweet and raw. This mama job of mine is so tiring and so hard and just plain so awesome!